This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.
One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship.
This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.
The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but.
The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.
My solution to them which I am now offering to you:
Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful.
Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake. Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward.
This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.
Get in touch
If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to firstname.lastname@example.org Let us help you make this a thing of the past.