Another empowering workshop completed. This time we were sharing the incredible benefits of being assertive in the right way. In this session we gave attendees tools and techniques to enhance their assertiveness. Using ‘I’ in statements along with naming their feelings in a given situation, be it negative or positive.
Using ‘I’ not ‘You’ when starting sentences
By starting your sentence with I feel sad, I feel glad, I feel irritated etc puts the onus on you as these are your feelings not the person you are talking to. You’re not backing the other person into a corner as is often the case when we start our sentence with ‘you’ make me sad etc. Followed by describing the other persons behaviour to them and what you would like them to do.
One of the many examples we worked on was: I feel really irritated when we set a rota to take it in turns to do the dishes. But when it’s your turn you don’t do it. And I’d like you to do your agreed share. The key then is to remain quiet and wait for the other person’s response as they have a right to reply.
Listening and acknowledge others
If the other person starts their sentence with a ‘yes but no but’ which is often the case, you simply need to listen and acknowledge them. Then repeat exactly what you initially said. This is called the Broken Record Technique, another crucial tool for assertiveness.
Eliminating potential arguments
By using ‘I’ statements we eventually if not instantly eliminate any potential argument. Reducing any need to get stressed, irritated and depressed as is often the case when not being listened to.