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Irwin Edgehill Training

Supporting individuals and teams to build their confidence and resilience empowering them to transform their personal & professional lives.

Month: March 2020

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake?

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Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake? Confused? Well this was a question I asked at one of my recent Life Coaching workshops.  It’s fair to say most of the group looked rather perplexed at first.  But soon they all grasped its true meaning. Unfortunately the only time you can realise you were asleep, dreaming that you are awake, is whenever there is a regret of some kind.

As I look back on my own past mistakes to help make this point. Not in resentment, frustration, anger or bitterness, but in awareness. I have to say those mistakes were made whilst I was asleep dreaming that I was awake.  For example have you ever:

  • Been in a relationship. Be it business, platonic or romantic and when it came to an end reflected on why you got in involved with that person or situation in the first place?
  •  Angrily or sarcastically belittled someone only to regret it later?
  • Joined a group or signed up for a course that never gave you what it promised?
  • Been on holiday thinking that it would relieve your stress and anxiety but it didn’t?
  • Left a job thinking that the job and the people were the problem. Only to find another job and find the same problem….you?   

Stay consciously awake

If we want to make decisions be it in a business, platonic, health or romantic situation. Want the best outcomes from those decisions. We have to understand the concept of staying consciously awake to our thoughts and feelings in any given moment. And then do the right thing as a result.

Work on your emotions

The key is to work on your emotions harder than you work on anything else.  You’ll then be in total  control of everything. Your stresses and anxieties will be a thing of the past.  How’s that for a cheery thought?  

If you are finding it difficult to stay emotionally awake. As a result feeling stressed and depressed more and more often, then contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.  Let us help.

Are you being assertive in the right way?

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Another empowering workshop completed.  This time we were sharing the incredible benefits of being assertive in the right way. In this session we gave attendees tools and techniques to enhance their assertiveness.  Using ‘I’ in statements along with naming their feelings in a given situation, be it negative or positive.

Using ‘I’ not ‘You’ when starting sentences

By starting your sentence with I feel sad, I feel glad, I feel irritated etc puts the onus on you as these are your feelings not the person you are talking to.  You’re not backing the other person into a corner as is often the case when we start our sentence with ‘you’ make me sad etc. Followed by describing the other persons behaviour to them and what you would like them to do.

One of the many examples we worked on was: I feel really irritated when we set a rota to take it in turns to do the dishes. But when it’s your turn you don’t do it. And I’d like you to do your agreed share. The key then is to remain quiet and wait for the other person’s response as they have a right to reply.

Listening and acknowledge others

If the other person starts their sentence with a ‘yes but no but’ which is often the case, you simply need to listen and acknowledge them. Then repeat exactly what you initially said. This is called the Broken Record Technique, another crucial tool for assertiveness.

Eliminating potential arguments

By using ‘I’ statements we eventually if not instantly eliminate any potential argument. Reducing any need to get stressed, irritated and depressed as is often the case when not being listened to.

Interested in attending some of our other workshops? Then contact Irwin Edgehill Training to find out more via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.