Assertiveness – Irwin Edgehill Training

Are you ready for your High Noon?

by Irwin EdgehillSeptember 4, 2023September 4, 20236 Comments

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him. His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang. Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

Fear for his own life
Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself. Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:

Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?
Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve?
Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey. If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you. You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that? Do you have the right help in place? If not contact me Irwin Edgehill and I will stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’. Contact me via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. While you are here have a look at my previous blogs which I believe will resonate: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Have you got what it takes to live on easy street?

by Irwin EdgehillJune 5, 20231 Comment

As an ice breaker in a recent workshop I delivered on ‘Relationships’ I asked the participants: “What do you really want from life?” Their responses included:

I want to be happy.
I want good mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
I want to be financially independent.
I want peace of mind.
I want healthy relationships with my wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, and family.
I want a good job.
I want a nice house with a garden.
I want to go on nice holidays regularly.
I want to be free of street drugs and alcohol.
I want to be able to go 24 hours without worrying about something or someone.
I want to have the courage to say I am NOT alright instead of pretending that I am.

I continued: “Have you got the burning desire, a plan and the right help to achieve these things?” Unsurprisingly, NO hands went up.

This was not a surprise to me. Most people really do want to ‘live on easy street’, having good emotional and physical health, wealth, peace, happiness, and good relationships. Unfortunately, in so many cases the vast majority will never achieve it. Not because they can’t, but more crucially they haven’t got the deep burning desire needed to start, aided by the right help and plan.

How about you? Have you got what is needed to live on easy street?

Do you have a burning desire to achieve the changes necessary to live on easy street?

Do you have conviction in your ideas as well as the confidence and assertiveness needed to bring them to fruition?

Are you seeking the right authentic help to support you in achieving the life you desire?

If the answer is NO then contact me, Irwin Edgehill and I will help you make that desire a reality. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. You can also read my previous blogs by visiting www.irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Are you putting FEELINGS before FACT?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 11, 2023April 11, 2023

Do you ever put feelings before fact and because of this your actions turn painfully against you? If your answer is yes, then keep reading.

Long before I started on my own path of spiritual freedom. When my life’s circumstances only ever yielded one disaster after another, I was constantly putting my feelings before fact. Causing me to pay a heavy price as I was:

Using feelings to gauge that the woman I was with was real, when in FACT they weren’t.
Feeling that the boss had it in for me when in FACT they didn’t.
Feeling like there was no hope of me ever transforming my confusion about life into clarity when in FACT there was.

This was all due to being controlled by my feelings and not by fact. Which, on reflection isn’t an emotionally sophisticated way to live.

If you are currently in this painful predicament, I implore you to spend time pondering this blog. Because once you gain clarity it will save you a whole lot of wasted emotional, mental, psychological as well as physical energy.

An example of this came up in a recent 1-2-1-coaching session. The participant who always seemed to find themself bouncing from one doomed relationship to another, had the courage to seek advice and ask the question: “WHY does this keep happening to me, Irwin?”

My response, based on my practical as well as theoretical experiences was ….: “It is SIMPLY because we live in a world that gets us to put feelings before FACTS.”

I’m not talking about feelings based on the everyday level. Such as feeling it might rain so I best take my brolly as I don’t want to get wet. I am talking on a higher level. Were our actions based on feelings and not FACTS will affect our emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and financial wellbeing.

Who are you being driven by?

So, the key question we need to ask of ourselves in any emotional situation is who am I being driven by? My FEELINGS or FACTS. And if my feelings seem to be overwhelming me, can I ‘remember to remember,’ to realise the damage it will cause me if I don’t try to see the FACTS of it.

This may well seem very elementary to the very few who have taken the time and energy to work on their inner selves. Who are now being guided by something higher than their five senses. But alas to the vast majority who aren’t, it isn’t.

Are you one of the majorities who puts your feelings before FACTS? Are you fed up with the resulting pain it causes? Then do your entire body a loving favour, and get in touch with Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you put fact before feelings. And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Want freedom from the tyranny of your sentimental memories?

by Irwin EdgehillMarch 13, 2023March 13, 2023

For some strange but practical reason, before I started on my own path of emotional freedom. I often found myself getting sentimental for those bygone days. When things appeared to be better than they really were.

Fast forward to today, I often ask myself in moments of reflection: How many people actually live their lives in the NOW? Not getting caught up in the tyrannical trap of their sentimental memories, like I mistakenly did.

I use the word tyranny because that is what it felt like for me. To be continually subjected to those thoughts. And this reflection motivated me to write this blog. To ask the question to you! Would you like to be free from the tyranny of your sentimental memories?

There is nothing gained from sentimental memories to your emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, and as a result physical wellbeing. Negative thoughts connect with every part of us to our detriment, as do our positive thoughts but to our betterment.

Painful thoughts are perpetuated by oneself

Little did I realise until a very wise man taught me, my painful thoughts were being perpetuated by myself. I was keeping them real and present because I wasn’t doing anything to help my current situation. The past at the time seemed like the logical place to dwell because I didn’t recognise I needed to have the courage, persistence, and guidance to make my life better and brighter.

Don’t stop looking back on achievements and milestones

There is nothing wrong in looking back on our achievements and milestones. To motivate ourselves with our future goals or aspirations, or to even inspire those around us as I am trying to do with this blog. However, we need to be aware there will be definite emotional defeat if we look back sentimentally, with unconscious mechanicalness.

I posed this question in one of my recent Assertiveness Workshop’s. At first the group were unconvinced by the possibility that they had the power to transform their sentimental feelings, which was quickly destroying them. However, as the session ended most of them gained clarity. Feeling they had it within them to free themselves from the tyranny of their sentimental memories. But only if they were willing to put in the hard work and effort needed.

If you want to free yourself from the tyranny of sentimental memories, then have the courage of your convictions and contact us by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you make it a reality. And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Roses are red, violets are blue, so how did I end up with someone like you?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 13, 2023February 13, 20232 Comments

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Are you really my valentine?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 9, 2022February 13, 2023

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

DO YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 16, 2020

‘My Wage’ – J.B Rittenhouse (1869-1948)

I bargained with life for a penny, and life would pay no more, However I begged at evening when I counted my scantly store.

For life was a just employer, he gives you what you ask. But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menials hire, only to learn, dismayed, that any wage I had of life. Life would of willing paid.

That is my favourite poem primarily because it can be applied to any aspect of a person’s life. Not just in the form of wages, but equally as important, the value of a person’s mental and physical health, inner peace, happiness and quality relationships.

What wage are you settling for?
My question to you is: What wage are you setting and settling for in your own life? Are you aware of the simple but powerful adage that we get what we ask for? Unfortunately, most of the people I help at first have a hard time in believing that the way they are living is directly related to what they are continually asking for. Which for many comes in the form of negative self-talks and negative beliefs they have of themselves. This is also true of people who are legitimately successful. But their self-talk is the opposite. It’s a lot more positive and empowering plus crucially they are also getting the right help to guide them to that better ‘wage’.

If you are beginning to realise that the employer called life is constantly giving you what you DON’T want then NOW is the time to take the steps to change. Contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. Let us help you ‘bargain’ for the life you really want.

Are you being assertive in the right way?

by Irwin EdgehillMarch 2, 2020

Another empowering workshop completed. This time we were sharing the incredible benefits of being assertive in the right way. In this session we gave attendees tools and techniques to enhance their assertiveness. Using ‘I’ in statements along with naming their feelings in a given situation, be it negative or positive.

Using ‘I’ not ‘You’ when starting sentences

By starting your sentence with I feel sad, I feel glad, I feel irritated etc puts the onus on you as these are your feelings not the person you are talking to. You’re not backing the other person into a corner as is often the case when we start our sentence with ‘you’ make me sad etc. Followed by describing the other persons behaviour to them and what you would like them to do.

One of the many examples we worked on was: I feel really irritated when we set a rota to take it in turns to do the dishes. But when it’s your turn you don’t do it. And I’d like you to do your agreed share. The key then is to remain quiet and wait for the other person’s response as they have a right to reply.

Listening and acknowledge others

If the other person starts their sentence with a ‘yes but no but’ which is often the case, you simply need to listen and acknowledge them. Then repeat exactly what you initially said. This is called the Broken Record Technique, another crucial tool for assertiveness.

Eliminating potential arguments

By using ‘I’ statements we eventually if not instantly eliminate any potential argument. Reducing any need to get stressed, irritated and depressed as is often the case when not being listened to.

Interested in attending some of our other workshops? Then contact Irwin Edgehill Training to find out more via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Where there is NO WILL, there will be NO WIN!

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 17, 2020

Fed up in your job and looking to do something different? Got that big business idea which you want to turn into reality? Have you already started out on your own but it’s not quite working out? Do you have the WILL to WIN?

WILL you do the things today that WILL get your career or your business where you want to be tomorrow, next month, next year and the years’ after that? Have you got the right help in place to ensure you get there? Unfortunately, if you haven’t got the WILL you will never WIN. You will never achieve the things you want to achieve.

Sadly, many people use WILL the wrong way which is the main reason they don’t and won’t WIN any of the above. This makes them feel depressed, stressed, anxious and lacking in confidence. I say ‘sadly’ because in my own experience of working on myself and in turn helping others to do the same, it doesn’t have to be this way. If you use WILL in the way it is intended, you WILL positively win.

If you are currently saying to yourself any of the following, then STOP!

I WILL never get that dream job
I WILL never get that promotion
I WILL never launch my business
I WILL never get any clients
I WILL never make my business a success

So, all you need is WILL! The question is how can you get it? Who can you call on to get the help and support you need? Well look no further than Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you WILL yourself to success. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921 to begin the journey.