relationship breakdowns – Irwin Edgehill Training

Roses are red, violets are blue, so how did I end up with someone like you?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 13, 2024

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk. And whilst you are here, have a read of some of my previous blogs which I believe you’ll also find of help! You’ll find them at: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Are you ready for your High Noon?

by Irwin EdgehillSeptember 4, 2023September 4, 20236 Comments

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him. His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang. Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

Fear for his own life
Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself. Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:

Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?
Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve?
Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey. If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you. You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that? Do you have the right help in place? If not contact me Irwin Edgehill and I will stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’. Contact me via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. While you are here have a look at my previous blogs which I believe will resonate: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Have you got what it takes to live on easy street?

by Irwin EdgehillJune 5, 20231 Comment

As an ice breaker in a recent workshop I delivered on ‘Relationships’ I asked the participants: “What do you really want from life?” Their responses included:

I want to be happy.
I want good mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
I want to be financially independent.
I want peace of mind.
I want healthy relationships with my wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, and family.
I want a good job.
I want a nice house with a garden.
I want to go on nice holidays regularly.
I want to be free of street drugs and alcohol.
I want to be able to go 24 hours without worrying about something or someone.
I want to have the courage to say I am NOT alright instead of pretending that I am.

I continued: “Have you got the burning desire, a plan and the right help to achieve these things?” Unsurprisingly, NO hands went up.

This was not a surprise to me. Most people really do want to ‘live on easy street’, having good emotional and physical health, wealth, peace, happiness, and good relationships. Unfortunately, in so many cases the vast majority will never achieve it. Not because they can’t, but more crucially they haven’t got the deep burning desire needed to start, aided by the right help and plan.

How about you? Have you got what is needed to live on easy street?

Do you have a burning desire to achieve the changes necessary to live on easy street?

Do you have conviction in your ideas as well as the confidence and assertiveness needed to bring them to fruition?

Are you seeking the right authentic help to support you in achieving the life you desire?

If the answer is NO then contact me, Irwin Edgehill and I will help you make that desire a reality. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. You can also read my previous blogs by visiting www.irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Are you putting FEELINGS before FACT?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 11, 2023April 11, 2023

Do you ever put feelings before fact and because of this your actions turn painfully against you? If your answer is yes, then keep reading.

Long before I started on my own path of spiritual freedom. When my life’s circumstances only ever yielded one disaster after another, I was constantly putting my feelings before fact. Causing me to pay a heavy price as I was:

Using feelings to gauge that the woman I was with was real, when in FACT they weren’t.
Feeling that the boss had it in for me when in FACT they didn’t.
Feeling like there was no hope of me ever transforming my confusion about life into clarity when in FACT there was.

This was all due to being controlled by my feelings and not by fact. Which, on reflection isn’t an emotionally sophisticated way to live.

If you are currently in this painful predicament, I implore you to spend time pondering this blog. Because once you gain clarity it will save you a whole lot of wasted emotional, mental, psychological as well as physical energy.

An example of this came up in a recent 1-2-1-coaching session. The participant who always seemed to find themself bouncing from one doomed relationship to another, had the courage to seek advice and ask the question: “WHY does this keep happening to me, Irwin?”

My response, based on my practical as well as theoretical experiences was ….: “It is SIMPLY because we live in a world that gets us to put feelings before FACTS.”

I’m not talking about feelings based on the everyday level. Such as feeling it might rain so I best take my brolly as I don’t want to get wet. I am talking on a higher level. Were our actions based on feelings and not FACTS will affect our emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and financial wellbeing.

Who are you being driven by?

So, the key question we need to ask of ourselves in any emotional situation is who am I being driven by? My FEELINGS or FACTS. And if my feelings seem to be overwhelming me, can I ‘remember to remember,’ to realise the damage it will cause me if I don’t try to see the FACTS of it.

This may well seem very elementary to the very few who have taken the time and energy to work on their inner selves. Who are now being guided by something higher than their five senses. But alas to the vast majority who aren’t, it isn’t.

Are you one of the majorities who puts your feelings before FACTS? Are you fed up with the resulting pain it causes? Then do your entire body a loving favour, and get in touch with Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you put fact before feelings. And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Roses are red, violets are blue, so how did I end up with someone like you?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 13, 2023February 13, 20232 Comments

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Are you really my valentine?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 9, 2022February 13, 2023

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Let me pile all my issues on you and let’s call it love.

by Irwin EdgehillApril 26, 2021April 26, 202110 Comments

This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.

One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship.

This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.

The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but.

The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.

My solution to them which I am now offering to you:

Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful.

Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake. Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward.

This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.

Get in touch

If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk Let us help you make this a thing of the past.

Are you ready for your High Noon?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 11, 2020August 30, 2023

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him. His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang. Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

Fear for his own life
Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself. Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:

Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?
Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve?
Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey. If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you. You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that? Do you have the right help in place? If not contact me Irwin Edgehill and I will stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’. Contact me via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. While you are here have a look at my previous blogs which I believe will resonate: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

If you don’t stand for something you are going to fall for anything

by Irwin EdgehillJanuary 8, 2020January 12, 2020

This concept is taken from a workshop I recently delivered that focused on boundaries. One of the attendee’s asked: “Irwin, I am sick and tired of the men I seem to attract in my life and of the subsequent tempestuous relationships that follow. Why does this keep on happening?”

My response was: “Do you have a stand, what do you stand for?” Her reaction was as if I’d just spoken in a foreign language, which unfortunately wasn’t a surprise as this is a response I get from most people. I say unfortunately because of the fact that if more people stood for something in any or all of their relationships be they business, platonic or romantic they would not have to suffer emotionally, mentally and physically as many do.

The help and advice I gave to the attendee and the rest of the group was that before you embark on another relationship first ask yourself these simple questions:

What am I no longer prepared to put up with in a new relationship?
What type of person do I want to meet and what positive characteristics do I want them to have?
If I am expecting them to be of a certain positive character then am I that person myself?
Do I need to work on myself with the right support and knowledge to become the person I want to meet? The reality being that we assemble with those with whom we resemble?

The attendee at first had a hard time in believing that she in some way resembled the negative men she attracted. However once we dug deeper she did recognise traits in herself that mirrored the men she met, such as having no boundaries. By focusing on these simple questions and sticking to them no matter what, will save her a huge amount of emotional grief and trauma in her life as well as making her feel positively empowered.

If you are finding that you are falling for anything because you don’t stand for something then seek some advice and guidance by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Why not create a space for the good that you desire?

by Irwin EdgehillNovember 11, 2019November 24, 2019

Have you ever wondered why the things you really want from life are so elusive? Have you tried different tools and techniques in order to get the things you want but are still no further forward? Have you tried nothing at all, thinking that what you have now is all you are going to get?

If you have said YES to any of the above then now is the time for you to start creating a space for the ‘good that you desire’.

I used this simple but extremely powerful concept with a couple that I was recently life coaching. One of their biggest challenges was that their lives were crammed with negative emotions left over from past experiences and memories that they hadn’t worked through as individuals before they got together. These emotions were now having a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. They were also placing a huge strain on their marriage, relationships with the children and their positions at work.

So the first question I asked of them was: ‘What are you both willing to sacrifice in order to live the life you have imagined?’ The reality being that you can’t get the things you desire without discarding an equivalent amount of negative emotions.

Fortunately for them they were both willing to commit to stop visiting ‘the scrap yards’ of their previous lives. By doing so they created the space for us at Irwin Edgehill Training to provide them with the right support and guidance they needed to begin to focus on their future.

Working on their emotions harder than they worked on anything else gave them the opportunity to begin to live their relationship to its fullest brightest self. All because they were willing to create a space for the good that they desired.

How about you? Are you willing to create a space for the good that you desire in your business, platonic or romantic relations?

If you are then make your desire a reality by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for the right help and guidance. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.