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Irwin Edgehill Training

Supporting individuals and teams to build their confidence and resilience empowering them to transform their personal & professional lives.

Tag: Life Coaching

Want freedom from the tyranny of your sentimental memories?

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For some strange but practical reason, before I started on my own path of emotional freedom. I often found myself getting sentimental for those bygone days. When things appeared to be better than they really were.

Fast forward to today,  I often ask myself in moments of reflection: How many people actually live their lives in the NOW? Not getting caught up in the tyrannical trap of their sentimental memories, like I mistakenly did.

I use the word tyranny because that is what it felt like for me. To be continually subjected to those thoughts. And this reflection motivated me to write this blog. To ask the question to you! Would you like to be free from the tyranny of your sentimental memories? 

There is nothing gained from sentimental memories to your emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, and as a result physical wellbeing. Negative thoughts connect with every part of us to our detriment, as do our positive thoughts but to our betterment. 

Painful thoughts are perpetuated by oneself

Little did I realise until a very wise man taught me, my painful thoughts were being perpetuated by myself. I was keeping them real and present because I wasn’t doing anything to help my current situation. The past at the time seemed like the logical place to dwell because I didn’t recognise I needed to have the courage, persistence, and guidance to make my life better and brighter. 

Don’t stop looking back on achievements and milestones

There is nothing wrong in looking back on our achievements and milestones. To motivate ourselves with our future goals or aspirations, or to even inspire those around us as I am trying to do with this blog. However, we need to be aware there will be definite emotional defeat if we look back sentimentally, with unconscious mechanicalness.

I posed this question in one of my recent Assertiveness Workshop’s. At first the group were unconvinced by the possibility that they had the power to transform their sentimental feelings, which was quickly destroying them. However, as the session ended most of them gained clarity. Feeling they had it within them to free themselves from the tyranny of their sentimental memories. But only if they were willing to put in the hard work and effort needed.

If you want to free yourself from the tyranny of sentimental memories, then have the courage of your convictions and contact us by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you make it a reality.  And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Painful feelings cannot enter a conscious mind. 

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the feelings that go through your mind in any given moment? Are these feelings painful and in many cases very painful? Then please read on….. 

Whether you believe it or not, it’s a fact that many people to one degree or another suffer needlessly from misleading hostile voices within their minds. All of us are a target and are affected! Depending on how consciously aware we are of our thoughts throughout the day, will impact on how well we can do something holistic to combat them.

I recently delivered a Self-Esteem workshop when one of the participants asked:

“Irwin, is it possible to go through a week let alone a day, without having painful feelings and suffering majorly as a result, about something that happened in the past or is happening now?”

Authentic piece of mind
My response to her sophisticated question. And I say sophisticated because it is our actions to questions such as these that will begin to bring authentic peace of mind from painful feelings. But only if we are willing to take the steps and make the sacrifices required to live emotionally, psychologically, and mentally pain free of such feelings.

  • Are you willing to sacrifice 30 minutes each and every day to enter a conscious mind? 
    Before you start any task including work or looking after the children you need to spend time to gather your thoughts. Being mindful of negative thoughts from the past or present, you need to put yourself in a state of gratitude for the things you have now instead of being focused on the things you don’t have.
  • Are you willing to stop giving added energy to negative thoughts?
    Realising that focusing on them, as you do now, will do nothing but perpetuate those painful feelings.
  • Are you willing to persist with this new way of living and being? 
    It may seem like an incredibly daunting task for the first few weeks or even months, but it is virtually impossible to achieve anything of any real value without being fully committed.
  • Are you willing to ignore any negative put downs from others?
    There will be those who will be secretly or openly against you trying to free your mind. To escape from the tyranny of those painful feelings, you may have to decide to leave those types of people behind!

If you can say YES to all the above, then congratulations you have a real chance of a positive breakthrough. The next step is to get in touch.

Let us help you become one of the few who’s painful feelings no longer cause a major problem for them each and every day because they are consciously awake to prevent it.  

Contact Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and let us help you begin your journey of authentic emotional, mental and psychological salvation.

Let me pile all my issues on you and let’s call it love.

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This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.

One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship. 

This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.

The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but. 

The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.  

My solution to them which I am now offering to you:

Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful. 

Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake.  Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward. 

This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.

Get in touch

If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk Let us help you make this a thing of the past.

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis

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Have you ever experienced a state where everything seems to be going right in your life, then suddenly you feel yourself swinging into depression, anxiety or stress? Have you tried dealing with it by suppressing it with drugs, alcohol, wrong sex or food? And found this made it worse in the long term?

In my experience, from the many people I have helped to ignore the knock of neurosis and as a result beat it. The feelings of depression, anxiety or stress only get worse until they accept and act on the phenomenal concept of ‘doing nothing about any problem’.

Now please go real slow with this. And be aware I’m not talking about solving everyday problems such as getting your car fixed or tending to a leaking roof. This is on a higher level than that. What we are talking about is coping with our inner level of being, how we feel within ourselves. And doing NOTHING being the cure.

Think of your feelings
Take a moment and think of your feelings. Most people think that their feelings are who they are. This simply isn’t the case. The majority of people I’ve worked with live their lives like a pendulum. Swaying between happiness to sadness, peace to anger, from calm and collected to being anxious and nervous. And in most cases these states never stay long. Which is proof that they are not part of us. If they were, those states wouldn’t come and go as they do. They would just stay with us as a constant, forever.

Deal with your emotions the right way
If you have the courage to be watchful of this, you will see it for yourself. The problem is most people don’t deal with their emotions in the right way. This then perpetuates the negatives of thinking that their feelings are actually who they are.

So if you are now at a stage in your life were you feel emotionally defeated, the good news is you are now putting yourself on the path of authentic inner transformation. Stopping yourself answering the knock of neurosis. Are you willing to give this fantastic organic alternative a try?

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis with things that have failed you in the past
In a recent workshop this concept was put to the participants in the way I am now conveying it to you. The next time a feeling of depression, stress or anxiety comes along, try just sitting with that feeling in that moment for as long as you can. Don’t answer it with any of the things that you have tried and have failed you in the past.

In order for this to be a success, which believe me it will. You will need courage, a burning desire, Will, and a sense of conscious vulnerability. What I mean by this is to admit to yourself that you can’t and never will be able to solve this problem on the level you currently operate on. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying: ‘It’s impossible to solve any problem with the level of awareness that created it in the first place.’ And this in our opinion is the fundamental reason why the majority of people suffer from answering the knock of neurosis for longer than they need do.

All you need to do now is contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you to NOT answer the knock of neurosis ever again. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE?

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‘My Wage’ – J.B Rittenhouse (1869-1948)

I bargained with life for a penny, and life would pay no more, However I begged at evening when I counted my scantly store.

For life was a just employer, he gives you what you ask. But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menials hire, only to learn, dismayed, that any wage I had of life. Life would of willing paid.

That is my favourite poem primarily because it can be applied to any aspect of a person’s life. Not just in the form of wages, but equally as important, the value of a person’s mental and physical health, inner peace, happiness and quality relationships.

What wage are you settling for?
My question to you is: What wage are you setting and settling for in your own life? Are you aware of the simple but powerful adage that we get what we ask for? Unfortunately, most of the people I help at first have a hard time in believing that the way they are living is directly related to what they are continually asking for. Which for many comes in the form of negative self-talks and negative beliefs they have of themselves. This is also true of people who are legitimately successful. But their self-talk is the opposite. It’s a lot more positive and empowering plus crucially they are also getting the right help to guide them to that better ‘wage’.

If you are beginning to realise that the employer called life is constantly giving you what you DON’T want then NOW is the time to take the steps to change. Contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. Let us help you ‘bargain’ for the life you really want.

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake?

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Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake? Confused? Well this was a question I asked at one of my recent Life Coaching workshops.  It’s fair to say most of the group looked rather perplexed at first.  But soon they all grasped its true meaning. Unfortunately the only time you can realise you were asleep, dreaming that you are awake, is whenever there is a regret of some kind.

As I look back on my own past mistakes to help make this point. Not in resentment, frustration, anger or bitterness, but in awareness. I have to say those mistakes were made whilst I was asleep dreaming that I was awake.  For example have you ever:

  • Been in a relationship. Be it business, platonic or romantic and when it came to an end reflected on why you got in involved with that person or situation in the first place?
  •  Angrily or sarcastically belittled someone only to regret it later?
  • Joined a group or signed up for a course that never gave you what it promised?
  • Been on holiday thinking that it would relieve your stress and anxiety but it didn’t?
  • Left a job thinking that the job and the people were the problem. Only to find another job and find the same problem….you?   

Stay consciously awake

If we want to make decisions be it in a business, platonic, health or romantic situation. Want the best outcomes from those decisions. We have to understand the concept of staying consciously awake to our thoughts and feelings in any given moment. And then do the right thing as a result.

Work on your emotions

The key is to work on your emotions harder than you work on anything else.  You’ll then be in total  control of everything. Your stresses and anxieties will be a thing of the past.  How’s that for a cheery thought?  

If you are finding it difficult to stay emotionally awake. As a result feeling stressed and depressed more and more often, then contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.  Let us help.

Are you ready for your High Noon?

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Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him.  His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang.  Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

  • Fear for his own life
  • Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
  • Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself.  Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:​

  • Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?  
  • Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve? 
  • Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey.  If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you.  You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that?  Do you have the right help in place? If not contact Irwin Edgehill Training and let us stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’.  Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Why not create a space for the good that you desire?

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Have you ever wondered why the things you really want from life are so elusive? Have you tried different tools and techniques in order to get the things you want but are still no further forward?  Have you tried nothing at all, thinking that what you have now is all you are going to get? 

If you have said YES to any of the above then now is the time for you to start creating a space for the ‘good that you desire’. 

I used this simple but extremely powerful concept with a couple that I was recently life coaching. One of their biggest challenges was that their lives were crammed with negative emotions left over  from past experiences and memories that they hadn’t worked through as individuals before they got together. These emotions were now having a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. They were also placing a huge strain on their marriage, relationships with the children and their positions at work.

So the first question I asked of them was: ‘What are you both willing to sacrifice in order to live the life you have imagined?’ The reality being that you can’t get the things you desire without discarding an equivalent amount of negative emotions.

Fortunately for them they were both willing to commit to stop visiting ‘the scrap yards’ of their previous lives.  By doing so they created the space for us at Irwin Edgehill Training to provide them with the right support and guidance they needed to begin to focus on their future.

Working on their emotions harder than they worked on anything else gave them the opportunity to begin to live their relationship to its fullest brightest self. All because they were willing to create a space for the good that they desired.

How about you? Are you willing to create a space for the good that you desire in your business, platonic or romantic relations? 

If you are then make your desire a reality by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for the right help and guidance. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.