Bournemouth – Irwin Edgehill Training

Are you putting FEELINGS before FACT?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 11, 2023April 11, 2023

Do you ever put feelings before fact and because of this your actions turn painfully against you? If your answer is yes, then keep reading.

Long before I started on my own path of spiritual freedom. When my life’s circumstances only ever yielded one disaster after another, I was constantly putting my feelings before fact. Causing me to pay a heavy price as I was:

Using feelings to gauge that the woman I was with was real, when in FACT they weren’t.
Feeling that the boss had it in for me when in FACT they didn’t.
Feeling like there was no hope of me ever transforming my confusion about life into clarity when in FACT there was.

This was all due to being controlled by my feelings and not by fact. Which, on reflection isn’t an emotionally sophisticated way to live.

If you are currently in this painful predicament, I implore you to spend time pondering this blog. Because once you gain clarity it will save you a whole lot of wasted emotional, mental, psychological as well as physical energy.

An example of this came up in a recent 1-2-1-coaching session. The participant who always seemed to find themself bouncing from one doomed relationship to another, had the courage to seek advice and ask the question: “WHY does this keep happening to me, Irwin?”

My response, based on my practical as well as theoretical experiences was ….: “It is SIMPLY because we live in a world that gets us to put feelings before FACTS.”

I’m not talking about feelings based on the everyday level. Such as feeling it might rain so I best take my brolly as I don’t want to get wet. I am talking on a higher level. Were our actions based on feelings and not FACTS will affect our emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and financial wellbeing.

Who are you being driven by?

So, the key question we need to ask of ourselves in any emotional situation is who am I being driven by? My FEELINGS or FACTS. And if my feelings seem to be overwhelming me, can I ‘remember to remember,’ to realise the damage it will cause me if I don’t try to see the FACTS of it.

This may well seem very elementary to the very few who have taken the time and energy to work on their inner selves. Who are now being guided by something higher than their five senses. But alas to the vast majority who aren’t, it isn’t.

Are you one of the majorities who puts your feelings before FACTS? Are you fed up with the resulting pain it causes? Then do your entire body a loving favour, and get in touch with Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you put fact before feelings. And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Let me pile all my issues on you and let’s call it love.

by Irwin EdgehillApril 26, 2021April 26, 202110 Comments

This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.

One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship.

This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.

The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but.

The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.

My solution to them which I am now offering to you:

Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful.

Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake. Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward.

This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.

Get in touch

If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk Let us help you make this a thing of the past.

Are you a victim of your own delusions?

by Irwin EdgehillJune 17, 2020

This question came up in a personal development meeting I attended recently. It resonated with me so much that I spent some time pondering on it.

I then came to the realisation that my former years were spent in painful delusion, only later understanding through working on myself with the right help and guidance, that this was causing me problems in all aspects of my own life.

For example, I always I thought that I was better than I actually was. When results didn’t go my way I would become sullen, sad and depressed. Not knowing that I was the reason for my failings. In truth I was a victim of my own delusions.

Are you a victim of your own delusions?

So my question to you is: If life isn’t giving you what you want or need, and as a result you feel emotionally defeated more often than not, then are you a victim of your own delusions?

From my own experience, if you are courageous enough to look at your life from this perspective. Overcome the positive awakening shock of it, then things will start to transform for the better for you as it did and continues to do for me.

Act on the right information to improve yourself

I was always told by my mentor the more we can look at ourselves, warts and all. Act on the right information given in order to improve ourselves internally and as a result transform our external circumstances, then and only then will our lives move from delusion to clarity.

Get in touch

If you think you might well be a victim of your own delusions then why not find the courage to contact Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help and guide you out of self delusion and into a better way to live your life. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis

by Irwin EdgehillApril 27, 2020

Have you ever experienced a state where everything seems to be going right in your life, then suddenly you feel yourself swinging into depression, anxiety or stress? Have you tried dealing with it by suppressing it with drugs, alcohol, wrong sex or food? And found this made it worse in the long term?

In my experience, from the many people I have helped to ignore the knock of neurosis and as a result beat it. The feelings of depression, anxiety or stress only get worse until they accept and act on the phenomenal concept of ‘doing nothing about any problem’.

Now please go real slow with this. And be aware I’m not talking about solving everyday problems such as getting your car fixed or tending to a leaking roof. This is on a higher level than that. What we are talking about is coping with our inner level of being, how we feel within ourselves. And doing NOTHING being the cure.

Think of your feelings
Take a moment and think of your feelings. Most people think that their feelings are who they are. This simply isn’t the case. The majority of people I’ve worked with live their lives like a pendulum. Swaying between happiness to sadness, peace to anger, from calm and collected to being anxious and nervous. And in most cases these states never stay long. Which is proof that they are not part of us. If they were, those states wouldn’t come and go as they do. They would just stay with us as a constant, forever.

Deal with your emotions the right way
If you have the courage to be watchful of this, you will see it for yourself. The problem is most people don’t deal with their emotions in the right way. This then perpetuates the negatives of thinking that their feelings are actually who they are.

So if you are now at a stage in your life were you feel emotionally defeated, the good news is you are now putting yourself on the path of authentic inner transformation. Stopping yourself answering the knock of neurosis. Are you willing to give this fantastic organic alternative a try?

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis with things that have failed you in the past
In a recent workshop this concept was put to the participants in the way I am now conveying it to you. The next time a feeling of depression, stress or anxiety comes along, try just sitting with that feeling in that moment for as long as you can. Don’t answer it with any of the things that you have tried and have failed you in the past.

In order for this to be a success, which believe me it will. You will need courage, a burning desire, Will, and a sense of conscious vulnerability. What I mean by this is to admit to yourself that you can’t and never will be able to solve this problem on the level you currently operate on. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying: ‘It’s impossible to solve any problem with the level of awareness that created it in the first place.’ And this in our opinion is the fundamental reason why the majority of people suffer from answering the knock of neurosis for longer than they need do.

All you need to do now is contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you to NOT answer the knock of neurosis ever again. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 16, 2020

‘My Wage’ – J.B Rittenhouse (1869-1948)

I bargained with life for a penny, and life would pay no more, However I begged at evening when I counted my scantly store.

For life was a just employer, he gives you what you ask. But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menials hire, only to learn, dismayed, that any wage I had of life. Life would of willing paid.

That is my favourite poem primarily because it can be applied to any aspect of a person’s life. Not just in the form of wages, but equally as important, the value of a person’s mental and physical health, inner peace, happiness and quality relationships.

What wage are you settling for?
My question to you is: What wage are you setting and settling for in your own life? Are you aware of the simple but powerful adage that we get what we ask for? Unfortunately, most of the people I help at first have a hard time in believing that the way they are living is directly related to what they are continually asking for. Which for many comes in the form of negative self-talks and negative beliefs they have of themselves. This is also true of people who are legitimately successful. But their self-talk is the opposite. It’s a lot more positive and empowering plus crucially they are also getting the right help to guide them to that better ‘wage’.

If you are beginning to realise that the employer called life is constantly giving you what you DON’T want then NOW is the time to take the steps to change. Contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. Let us help you ‘bargain’ for the life you really want.

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake?

by Irwin EdgehillMarch 17, 2020March 18, 2020

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake? Confused? Well this was a question I asked at one of my recent Life Coaching workshops. It’s fair to say most of the group looked rather perplexed at first. But soon they all grasped its true meaning. Unfortunately the only time you can realise you were asleep, dreaming that you are awake, is whenever there is a regret of some kind.

As I look back on my own past mistakes to help make this point. Not in resentment, frustration, anger or bitterness, but in awareness. I have to say those mistakes were made whilst I was asleep dreaming that I was awake. For example have you ever:

Been in a relationship. Be it business, platonic or romantic and when it came to an end reflected on why you got in involved with that person or situation in the first place?
Angrily or sarcastically belittled someone only to regret it later?
Joined a group or signed up for a course that never gave you what it promised?
Been on holiday thinking that it would relieve your stress and anxiety but it didn’t?
Left a job thinking that the job and the people were the problem. Only to find another job and find the same problem….you?

Stay consciously awake

If we want to make decisions be it in a business, platonic, health or romantic situation. Want the best outcomes from those decisions. We have to understand the concept of staying consciously awake to our thoughts and feelings in any given moment. And then do the right thing as a result.

Work on your emotions

The key is to work on your emotions harder than you work on anything else. You’ll then be in total control of everything. Your stresses and anxieties will be a thing of the past. How’s that for a cheery thought?

If you are finding it difficult to stay emotionally awake. As a result feeling stressed and depressed more and more often, then contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. Let us help.

Where there is NO WILL, there will be NO WIN!

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 17, 2020

Fed up in your job and looking to do something different? Got that big business idea which you want to turn into reality? Have you already started out on your own but it’s not quite working out? Do you have the WILL to WIN?

WILL you do the things today that WILL get your career or your business where you want to be tomorrow, next month, next year and the years’ after that? Have you got the right help in place to ensure you get there? Unfortunately, if you haven’t got the WILL you will never WIN. You will never achieve the things you want to achieve.

Sadly, many people use WILL the wrong way which is the main reason they don’t and won’t WIN any of the above. This makes them feel depressed, stressed, anxious and lacking in confidence. I say ‘sadly’ because in my own experience of working on myself and in turn helping others to do the same, it doesn’t have to be this way. If you use WILL in the way it is intended, you WILL positively win.

If you are currently saying to yourself any of the following, then STOP!

I WILL never get that dream job
I WILL never get that promotion
I WILL never launch my business
I WILL never get any clients
I WILL never make my business a success

So, all you need is WILL! The question is how can you get it? Who can you call on to get the help and support you need? Well look no further than Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you WILL yourself to success. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921 to begin the journey.

Are you ready for your High Noon?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 11, 2020February 11, 2020

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him. His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang. Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

Fear for his own life
Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself. Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:

Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?
Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve?
Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey. If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you. You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that? Do you have the right help in place? If not contact Irwin Edgehill Training and let us stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Combating negativity workshop

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 7, 2020

Another week and another successful workshop. This latest session run for BCHA centred around an individual’s negative beliefs and negative self talk. Many people suffer from this needlessly with the result being that we become what we think about most of the time.

This half day workshop helped participants to begin to think about approaches to combating negativity. They were introduced to and given various tools and techniques such as making a note of every negative thought that went through their mind to begin to address the situation. This is vital evidence of the amount of negative thoughts that come into our minds on a daily basis. Unless we are conscious of them then they will ultimately control us for the worse.

Interested in attending some of our other workshops? Then contact Irwin Edgehill Training to find out more via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

There really is a cure for your workplace stress

by Irwin EdgehillJanuary 21, 2020February 10, 2020

How are you feeling? How is your morale? Is it low and impacting on your productivity and creativity? Then it’s quite likely that you are suffering from the impact of work place stress.

Having worked with a wide range of individuals at many levels of organisations who have dealt with the negative effects of workplace stress, it’s a fact that those who recognise and address this increasingly common affliction get the most out of their working lives.

In a recent labour force survey it was stated that:
• Staff take an average of 12 sick days a year, also 60- to 80% of primary care doctor visits are related to stress, yet only 3% of patients receive stress management help (JAMA Intern Med. 2013; 173(1): 76-77).
• The American Psychological report stated that 42 % of Americans report lying awake at night due to stress.

So where do you begin?

• Firstly and most importantly recognise that your emotional wellbeing is key to increasing productivity and creativity.
• Acknowledge that wellbeing doesn’t mean treating yourself to a cake or chocolates every now and again or coming to work on a Friday dressed casually. Even taking a holiday doesn’t really work as unless you deal with your workplace stress before you go, you only end up taking it with you.
• Consider how you really feel about the working environment, the way you are being managed or your current workload.
• Ensure that your organisation understands and recognises staff wellbeing and stress in the workplace. The days of ‘just get on with it and pull yourself together’ just don’t work in today’s always on, increasingly demanding working environment.
• Realise the value and benefit of investing time and money in your emotional wellbeing. See it as an investment in the business as you would a new piece of machinery or marketing campaign.
• Put in place a commitment and structure that recognises the value and benefit from regular life coaching sessions that cover stress management, assertiveness, mindfulness and self-esteem.

Recognise the situation? Want to begin to introduce the cure?

Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer to begin to address work place stress. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.