Bournemouth – Irwin Edgehill Training

Roses are red, violets are blue, so how did I end up with someone like you?

by Irwin EdgehillFebruary 13, 2024

It’s that time of the year when we are meant to be our best selves to the person we are supposed to love. A time when TV and radio adverts, the supermarkets and social media are all encouraging us to spend big on treating our loved ones to something special for Valentine’s Day.

Before you read any further, let me say this blog is not written with any form of resentfulness or bitterness. On the contrary, it is written in spiritual awareness, where I passionately believe if people had this type of awareness, they wouldn’t get seduced, as they do at this point every year, into spending money for the wrong reasons.

I say for the wrong reasons because the other person in most cases, only ever mechanically gives, to get back, or as I have mentioned they take their cues from a media point of view and not from their authentic self.

My question to you is this: How is it possible for a couple to be authentically their best selves when they do no emotional inner work to become their best authentic selves? And if they are not doing any emotional inner work, do you think they have the capacity to be an authentic valentine 365 days a year let alone for just one day?

This is why couples spend most of their time at each other’s throats be that verbally, psychologically, or unfortunately physically. Which in many cases has its root cause in both, or at least one of them not doing any emotional inner work on themselves. Yet they will still be buying each other valentine gifts and calling that love.

If you are fed up with silently or openly saying to yourself: How did I end up with him or her? You are now aware of the fundamental reason and can now start to do something about it.

With the help of Irwin Edgehill training, let us help you to become a true valentine every day of the year. Call 07842 435921 or send a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk. And whilst you are here, have a read of some of my previous blogs which I believe you’ll also find of help! You’ll find them at: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

10 Top Tips on how to stay emotionally intelligent over the Christmas period

by Irwin EdgehillDecember 11, 202310 Comments

Do not try to be happy! This false state of being will just make you feel worse rather than better. Instead try sitting with how you are feeling, don’t do anything to suppress it and you will find the feeling won’t last for long.
Have the courage to say no to those invites where you usually say yes, but make you feel and wish that you hadn’t. By adopting this positively empowering approach you will be in control and feel infinitely better.
See this time of year for the authentic reason it was intended: To reflect on a year that is coming to an end and to use this period to see the positive things you have achieved.
Stay awake. We firmly believe the reason most people suffer throughout the year and more so over the Christmas period is their inability to be aware of their thoughts and feelings in any given moment. As a result they are at the mercy of all manner of thoughts, the majority of these being negative, which then produce negative actions and results. To prevent this from happening be in control of yourself by being consciously aware of how you are feeling. This will prevent you from over indulging with food, drink or even shopping and experiencing the related negative feelings and emotions.
Get some fresh air and exercise even if this just means a brisk walk around the block or park. Cold short days and long dark nights makes us all just want to hide away indoors. However being outdoors will work wonders for you both emotionally and physically.
If Christmas isn’t a particularly good time of the year for one reason or another then reach out to friends or family. Failing that send Irwin Edgehill Training an email or text and we will gladly lend an ear. Email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or text 07842 435921.
Use this time of the year to have a clear-out of all the unwanted stuff that you’ve had for months if not years. By doing so you are creating a space for all the good things you want to come into your life.
Be mindful of the fact that at this time of the year we spend more time with friends and family than we usually do and in a lot of cases the unresolved issues that are normally suppressed can start to seep out. Be mindful of this and you’ll be able to keep control of your thoughts and yourself.
Use the Christmas holiday period to relax, unwind and recharge.
Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean we stop working on ourselves. I remember watching an interview with the decathlon gold medallist Daley Thompson in which he explained that even on Christmas day he was working on himself as he knew his counterparts were most probably having a day off. So if you want to be ahead of the game in 2024 don’t let Christmas get in the way.

On behalf of us at Irwin Edgehill Training we wish you a happy Christmas and a prosperous 2024. And whilst you are using this time to relax and unwind, why not read some more of our blogs at: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Are you ready for your High Noon?

by Irwin EdgehillSeptember 4, 2023September 4, 20236 Comments

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him. His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang. Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

Fear for his own life
Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself. Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:

Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?
Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve?
Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey. If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you. You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that? Do you have the right help in place? If not contact me Irwin Edgehill and I will stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’. Contact me via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. While you are here have a look at my previous blogs which I believe will resonate: https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Is Fear forcing you to give up? Then call on your Heart’s Courage to continue!

by Irwin EdgehillAugust 4, 2023August 4, 20233 Comments

This blog post will be disliked by many. Because so many people have a fear of fear.

To one degree or another, almost everyone lives in fear whether consciously or unconsciously. Mostly because they are unable to take care of themselves in their inner and their outside world.

Understanding fear is the elixir in curing it.

Trembling and shaking physically, emotionally, and psychologically, at the prospect of another challenging day, month, or year from fear of their finances, relationships, work, and health. Many, feel fear is so mysteriously varied to try and understand it. Without realising that understanding is the elixir in curing it.

Don’t surrender to your fear!

Fearing their strength isn’t adequate or that their wisdom won’t be able to meet their predicament. Many people embark on a desperate search, looking for a solution to whatever they fear in the wrong and quite often dark places. At the same time asking the wrong questions, which only ever yields the wrong answers. Forcing them to surrender to whatever they are fearing, which only perpetuates their fears.

As you are reading this, take a moment to stop and ask yourself: “Can you feel any fear running through you?”Regardless of its size, are you tired of suppressing your fear with the wrong medicinal tools, be they recreational or over the counter ones?

Put an end to your fears.

If your answer is yes, then contact me on 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk I’ll help you put an end to your fears so you can live heart-fully, in your everyday life.

And whilst you are here, have a read of my previous blogs, which I believe will resonate with you. You will find them at https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Are you tiptoeing through life to safely make it to your death?

by Irwin EdgehillJuly 3, 2023July 3, 2023

Are you one of the many who fear life? Then the following is worth pondering:

Do you start your day only to find yourself thinking that you can’t wait for the day to end?
When you are at work or doing chores, do you find yourself watching the clock because you are desperate to be somewhere else?
Are you looking forward to retirement because you’d rather be somewhere else, than at work?
Towards the end of summer, do you find yourself dreading winter and as a result can’t wait for summer to come around again?

All the above were constant thoughts and behaviours in my own life. Then someone asked me this question, if I was tiptoeing through my life to safely make it to my death. My answer after I had pondered it was a resounding, YES.

It was a shocking realisation, that most of my life was spent wishing my days and life away without realising it! By trying to avoid my miserable situation and the resulting emotional pain it was causing me.

I was in this predicament because I did not know or was not made aware of what life is fundamentally all about. If pressed for an answer I would have said: “It’s about acquiring things and people.” Since I was not doing any of those things it was no wonder, I felt the way I did.

Concentrating my energy and efforts on living in the present

It was only when an incredibly sophisticated man told me that, in the main, life is all about emotional evolution. To become a more balanced, whole person, and the more you work on the inner side of yourself the more you won’t be wishing for the future anymore. Because you would be concentrating all your energies and efforts on the now and living in the present.

It took me a while to fully understand this truth. Because of the way society tries to, and often succeeds, in manipulating the many to be always looking forward to the next thrill. Be that a holiday, a new car, relationships, house, a qualification, or more money.

There’s nothing wrong in wanting things!

There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting or having those things mentioned above. However, there is something fundamentally wrong in getting carried away with them. To a point where you have lost sight of the present and as a result find yourself wishing your days away in pursuit of those things.

So, the next time you find yourself looking forward to the future, ask yourself is it because you don’t like the present? If so, contact me, Irwin Edgehill on 07842 435 921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and I will help you stay in the present to live a longer more fulfilling life. And whilst you are here, why not have a read of my previous blogs www.irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk

Are you putting FEELINGS before FACT?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 11, 2023April 11, 2023

Do you ever put feelings before fact and because of this your actions turn painfully against you? If your answer is yes, then keep reading.

Long before I started on my own path of spiritual freedom. When my life’s circumstances only ever yielded one disaster after another, I was constantly putting my feelings before fact. Causing me to pay a heavy price as I was:

Using feelings to gauge that the woman I was with was real, when in FACT they weren’t.
Feeling that the boss had it in for me when in FACT they didn’t.
Feeling like there was no hope of me ever transforming my confusion about life into clarity when in FACT there was.

This was all due to being controlled by my feelings and not by fact. Which, on reflection isn’t an emotionally sophisticated way to live.

If you are currently in this painful predicament, I implore you to spend time pondering this blog. Because once you gain clarity it will save you a whole lot of wasted emotional, mental, psychological as well as physical energy.

An example of this came up in a recent 1-2-1-coaching session. The participant who always seemed to find themself bouncing from one doomed relationship to another, had the courage to seek advice and ask the question: “WHY does this keep happening to me, Irwin?”

My response, based on my practical as well as theoretical experiences was ….: “It is SIMPLY because we live in a world that gets us to put feelings before FACTS.”

I’m not talking about feelings based on the everyday level. Such as feeling it might rain so I best take my brolly as I don’t want to get wet. I am talking on a higher level. Were our actions based on feelings and not FACTS will affect our emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and financial wellbeing.

Who are you being driven by?

So, the key question we need to ask of ourselves in any emotional situation is who am I being driven by? My FEELINGS or FACTS. And if my feelings seem to be overwhelming me, can I ‘remember to remember,’ to realise the damage it will cause me if I don’t try to see the FACTS of it.

This may well seem very elementary to the very few who have taken the time and energy to work on their inner selves. Who are now being guided by something higher than their five senses. But alas to the vast majority who aren’t, it isn’t.

Are you one of the majorities who puts your feelings before FACTS? Are you fed up with the resulting pain it causes? Then do your entire body a loving favour, and get in touch with Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you put fact before feelings. And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Let me pile all my issues on you and let’s call it love.

by Irwin EdgehillApril 26, 2021April 26, 202110 Comments

This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.

One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship.

This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.

The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but.

The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.

My solution to them which I am now offering to you:

Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful.

Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake. Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward.

This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.

Get in touch

If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk Let us help you make this a thing of the past.

Are you a victim of your own delusions?

by Irwin EdgehillJune 17, 2020

This question came up in a personal development meeting I attended recently. It resonated with me so much that I spent some time pondering on it.

I then came to the realisation that my former years were spent in painful delusion, only later understanding through working on myself with the right help and guidance, that this was causing me problems in all aspects of my own life.

For example, I always I thought that I was better than I actually was. When results didn’t go my way I would become sullen, sad and depressed. Not knowing that I was the reason for my failings. In truth I was a victim of my own delusions.

Are you a victim of your own delusions?

So my question to you is: If life isn’t giving you what you want or need, and as a result you feel emotionally defeated more often than not, then are you a victim of your own delusions?

From my own experience, if you are courageous enough to look at your life from this perspective. Overcome the positive awakening shock of it, then things will start to transform for the better for you as it did and continues to do for me.

Act on the right information to improve yourself

I was always told by my mentor the more we can look at ourselves, warts and all. Act on the right information given in order to improve ourselves internally and as a result transform our external circumstances, then and only then will our lives move from delusion to clarity.

Get in touch

If you think you might well be a victim of your own delusions then why not find the courage to contact Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help and guide you out of self delusion and into a better way to live your life. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis

by Irwin EdgehillApril 27, 2020

Have you ever experienced a state where everything seems to be going right in your life, then suddenly you feel yourself swinging into depression, anxiety or stress? Have you tried dealing with it by suppressing it with drugs, alcohol, wrong sex or food? And found this made it worse in the long term?

In my experience, from the many people I have helped to ignore the knock of neurosis and as a result beat it. The feelings of depression, anxiety or stress only get worse until they accept and act on the phenomenal concept of ‘doing nothing about any problem’.

Now please go real slow with this. And be aware I’m not talking about solving everyday problems such as getting your car fixed or tending to a leaking roof. This is on a higher level than that. What we are talking about is coping with our inner level of being, how we feel within ourselves. And doing NOTHING being the cure.

Think of your feelings
Take a moment and think of your feelings. Most people think that their feelings are who they are. This simply isn’t the case. The majority of people I’ve worked with live their lives like a pendulum. Swaying between happiness to sadness, peace to anger, from calm and collected to being anxious and nervous. And in most cases these states never stay long. Which is proof that they are not part of us. If they were, those states wouldn’t come and go as they do. They would just stay with us as a constant, forever.

Deal with your emotions the right way
If you have the courage to be watchful of this, you will see it for yourself. The problem is most people don’t deal with their emotions in the right way. This then perpetuates the negatives of thinking that their feelings are actually who they are.

So if you are now at a stage in your life were you feel emotionally defeated, the good news is you are now putting yourself on the path of authentic inner transformation. Stopping yourself answering the knock of neurosis. Are you willing to give this fantastic organic alternative a try?

Don’t answer the Knock of Neurosis with things that have failed you in the past
In a recent workshop this concept was put to the participants in the way I am now conveying it to you. The next time a feeling of depression, stress or anxiety comes along, try just sitting with that feeling in that moment for as long as you can. Don’t answer it with any of the things that you have tried and have failed you in the past.

In order for this to be a success, which believe me it will. You will need courage, a burning desire, Will, and a sense of conscious vulnerability. What I mean by this is to admit to yourself that you can’t and never will be able to solve this problem on the level you currently operate on. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying: ‘It’s impossible to solve any problem with the level of awareness that created it in the first place.’ And this in our opinion is the fundamental reason why the majority of people suffer from answering the knock of neurosis for longer than they need do.

All you need to do now is contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you to NOT answer the knock of neurosis ever again. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE?

by Irwin EdgehillApril 16, 2020

‘My Wage’ – J.B Rittenhouse (1869-1948)

I bargained with life for a penny, and life would pay no more, However I begged at evening when I counted my scantly store.

For life was a just employer, he gives you what you ask. But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menials hire, only to learn, dismayed, that any wage I had of life. Life would of willing paid.

That is my favourite poem primarily because it can be applied to any aspect of a person’s life. Not just in the form of wages, but equally as important, the value of a person’s mental and physical health, inner peace, happiness and quality relationships.

What wage are you settling for?
My question to you is: What wage are you setting and settling for in your own life? Are you aware of the simple but powerful adage that we get what we ask for? Unfortunately, most of the people I help at first have a hard time in believing that the way they are living is directly related to what they are continually asking for. Which for many comes in the form of negative self-talks and negative beliefs they have of themselves. This is also true of people who are legitimately successful. But their self-talk is the opposite. It’s a lot more positive and empowering plus crucially they are also getting the right help to guide them to that better ‘wage’.

If you are beginning to realise that the employer called life is constantly giving you what you DON’T want then NOW is the time to take the steps to change. Contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. Let us help you ‘bargain’ for the life you really want.