Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake?

Are you asleep dreaming that you are awake? Confused? Well this was a question I asked at one of my recent Life Coaching workshops.  It’s fair to say most of the group looked rather perplexed at first.  But soon they all grasped its true meaning. Unfortunately the only time you can realise you were asleep, dreaming that you are awake, is whenever there is a regret of some kind.

As I look back on my own past mistakes to help make this point. Not in resentment, frustration, anger or bitterness, but in awareness. I have to say those mistakes were made whilst I was asleep dreaming that I was awake.  For example have you ever:

  • Been in a relationship. Be it business, platonic or romantic and when it came to an end reflected on why you got in involved with that person or situation in the first place?
  •  Angrily or sarcastically belittled someone only to regret it later?
  • Joined a group or signed up for a course that never gave you what it promised?
  • Been on holiday thinking that it would relieve your stress and anxiety but it didn’t?
  • Left a job thinking that the job and the people were the problem. Only to find another job and find the same problem….you?   

Stay consciously awake

If we want to make decisions be it in a business, platonic, health or romantic situation. Want the best outcomes from those decisions. We have to understand the concept of staying consciously awake to our thoughts and feelings in any given moment. And then do the right thing as a result.

Work on your emotions

The key is to work on your emotions harder than you work on anything else.  You’ll then be in total  control of everything. Your stresses and anxieties will be a thing of the past.  How’s that for a cheery thought?  

If you are finding it difficult to stay emotionally awake. As a result feeling stressed and depressed more and more often, then contact Irwin Edgehill training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.  Let us help.

Are you ready for your High Noon?

Have you ever seen the film ‘High Noon’ Starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly?

In High Noon the former marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) is preparing to leave the small town of Hadleyville, New Mexico, with his new bride, Amy (Grace Kelly), when he learns that local criminal Frank Miller has been set free and is coming to seek revenge on the marshal who turned him in. When he starts recruiting deputies to fight Miller, Kane is discouraged to find that the people of Hadleyville turn cowardly when the time comes for a showdown, and he must face Miller and his cronies alone.

Put yourself in Will Kane’s place. Everyone around him with whom he thought he could depend and rely on deserted him.  His deputies all gave feeble excuses as to why they couldn’t help. Even his own wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t run and hide like the others in the next town for fear of Frank Miller and his gang.  Just try to think of all the emotions that must have been going through his entire body:

  • Fear for his own life
  • Frustration at his deputies and friends lack of belief and trust in him
  • Sadness that his wife was ready to turn her back on him and the lack of belief she had in him

All of this must have set off a mass of confusion and self doubt within himself.  Was he doing the right thing of staying to face Miller as the clock ticks towards noon when the train is due in?

Now put this scenario into the context of your own life:​

  • Are you willing to keep walking forward on your own even when others doubt you?  
  • Are you willing to stand alone for what you believe in even when others don’t appear to believe in you or what you are trying to achieve? 
  • Have you got the mental and emotional strength, burning desire and persistence needed in order to stay true to your own convictions?

When it comes to your ‘High Noon’ you too will most likely have to go it alone at some point on your journey.  If you really want to live the life you imagine then you’ll need to deal with the doubt of those you thought would stand with you.  You may also need to overcome your own self doubt, stress, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.

Are you prepared for that?  Do you have the right help in place? If not contact Irwin Edgehill Training and let us stand with you all the way on your own ‘High Noon’.  Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

If you don’t stand for something you are going to fall for anything

This concept is taken from a workshop I recently delivered that focused on boundaries.  One of the attendee’s asked: “Irwin, I am sick and tired of the men I seem to attract in my life and of the subsequent tempestuous relationships that follow.  Why does this keep on happening?” 

My response was: “Do you have a stand, what do you stand for?” Her reaction was as if I’d just spoken in a foreign language, which  unfortunately wasn’t a surprise as this is a response I get from most people. I say unfortunately because of the fact that if more people stood for something in any or all of their relationships be they business, platonic or romantic they would not have to suffer emotionally, mentally and physically as many do. 

The help and advice I gave to the attendee and the rest of the group was that before you embark on another relationship first ask yourself these simple questions: 

  • What am I no longer prepared to put up with in a new relationship? 
  • What type of person do I want to meet and what positive characteristics do I want them to have?  
  • If I am expecting them to be of a certain positive character then am I that  person myself?  
  • Do I need to  work on myself with the right support and knowledge to become the person I want to meet? The reality being that we  assemble with those with whom we resemble? 

The attendee at first had a hard time in believing that she in some way resembled the negative men she attracted. However once we dug deeper she did recognise traits in herself that mirrored the men she met, such as having no boundaries. By focusing on these simple questions and sticking to them no matter what, will save her a huge amount of emotional grief and trauma in her life as well as making her feel positively empowered.    

If you are finding that you are falling for anything because you don’t stand for something then seek some advice and guidance by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. 

What makes a good Life Coach?

On a day-to-day basis, coaches face many challenges. Life Coaching is an ongoing process, a method of continuous development and a significant learning experience for both coaches and clients. As a process it’s important to not be afraid of taking a wrong turn but then learn from ‘mistakes’.

The key to this is realising that these aren’t ‘mistakes’ or failings in the first place. What many people regard as mistakes are in fact lessons, experiences and opportunities to learn and develop, but because the majority aren’t aware of this they trudge through life depressed, anxious, stressed, resentful and angry.

Florence Scovel Shinn in her book ‘The Game of Life and How to Play It’ has some helpful tips to say about mistakes and learning. So does Napoleon Hill in his phenomenal book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘.

A good Life Coach must demonstrate resourcefulness and help people to see that if they think they have failed in the past, this does not need to resemble or have any bearing on their future as long as they use the learning experience in the right way.

Listening skills, holding the client accountable for any goals set and giving as much advice, knowledge and guidance to the client is a vital role of the Life Coach. To do this the Life Coach must ensure that he or she is studying the right information themselves in order to give out the right information.

There are many ways to train to be a life coach both in person and on-line. One such on-line example is iNLP Center.

In my experience as a coach I believe the biggest challenges that Life Coaches face boils down to how authentic and sincere they are, in other words is it a vocation or just a job? If it’s a vocation then great both coach and client have a real chance of success, because if a Life Coach is constantly working on themselves with the right knowledge it goes without saying that he or she will be a top of the range coach, who in turn will produce top of the range results for their clients.

If it’s just a job and the so called coach doesn’t believe in what they are doing, or just doing it for the money they won’t last very long. And that is the problem here. A lot of people think Life Coaching is an easy way to make a living and feel good about themselves. All you need to do is sit and listen to a person’s woes, offer some fluffy advice and job done.

If you have this type of attitude about Life Coaching my advice would be don’t do it!

Interested in Life Coaching ? Want to find out more?
Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our Life Coaching services . Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.