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Irwin Edgehill Training

Supporting individuals and teams to build their confidence and resilience empowering them to transform their personal & professional lives.

Tag: Emotional Intelligence

Want freedom from the tyranny of your sentimental memories?

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For some strange but practical reason, before I started on my own path of emotional freedom. I often found myself getting sentimental for those bygone days. When things appeared to be better than they really were.

Fast forward to today,  I often ask myself in moments of reflection: How many people actually live their lives in the NOW? Not getting caught up in the tyrannical trap of their sentimental memories, like I mistakenly did.

I use the word tyranny because that is what it felt like for me. To be continually subjected to those thoughts. And this reflection motivated me to write this blog. To ask the question to you! Would you like to be free from the tyranny of your sentimental memories? 

There is nothing gained from sentimental memories to your emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, and as a result physical wellbeing. Negative thoughts connect with every part of us to our detriment, as do our positive thoughts but to our betterment. 

Painful thoughts are perpetuated by oneself

Little did I realise until a very wise man taught me, my painful thoughts were being perpetuated by myself. I was keeping them real and present because I wasn’t doing anything to help my current situation. The past at the time seemed like the logical place to dwell because I didn’t recognise I needed to have the courage, persistence, and guidance to make my life better and brighter. 

Don’t stop looking back on achievements and milestones

There is nothing wrong in looking back on our achievements and milestones. To motivate ourselves with our future goals or aspirations, or to even inspire those around us as I am trying to do with this blog. However, we need to be aware there will be definite emotional defeat if we look back sentimentally, with unconscious mechanicalness.

I posed this question in one of my recent Assertiveness Workshop’s. At first the group were unconvinced by the possibility that they had the power to transform their sentimental feelings, which was quickly destroying them. However, as the session ended most of them gained clarity. Feeling they had it within them to free themselves from the tyranny of their sentimental memories. But only if they were willing to put in the hard work and effort needed.

If you want to free yourself from the tyranny of sentimental memories, then have the courage of your convictions and contact us by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and we’ll help you make it a reality.  And whilst you are here, why not read some more of our blog posts on https://irwinedgehilltraining.com

Painful feelings cannot enter a conscious mind. 

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the feelings that go through your mind in any given moment? Are these feelings painful and in many cases very painful? Then please read on….. 

Whether you believe it or not, it’s a fact that many people to one degree or another suffer needlessly from misleading hostile voices within their minds. All of us are a target and are affected! Depending on how consciously aware we are of our thoughts throughout the day, will impact on how well we can do something holistic to combat them.

I recently delivered a Self-Esteem workshop when one of the participants asked:

“Irwin, is it possible to go through a week let alone a day, without having painful feelings and suffering majorly as a result, about something that happened in the past or is happening now?”

Authentic piece of mind
My response to her sophisticated question. And I say sophisticated because it is our actions to questions such as these that will begin to bring authentic peace of mind from painful feelings. But only if we are willing to take the steps and make the sacrifices required to live emotionally, psychologically, and mentally pain free of such feelings.

  • Are you willing to sacrifice 30 minutes each and every day to enter a conscious mind? 
    Before you start any task including work or looking after the children you need to spend time to gather your thoughts. Being mindful of negative thoughts from the past or present, you need to put yourself in a state of gratitude for the things you have now instead of being focused on the things you don’t have.
  • Are you willing to stop giving added energy to negative thoughts?
    Realising that focusing on them, as you do now, will do nothing but perpetuate those painful feelings.
  • Are you willing to persist with this new way of living and being? 
    It may seem like an incredibly daunting task for the first few weeks or even months, but it is virtually impossible to achieve anything of any real value without being fully committed.
  • Are you willing to ignore any negative put downs from others?
    There will be those who will be secretly or openly against you trying to free your mind. To escape from the tyranny of those painful feelings, you may have to decide to leave those types of people behind!

If you can say YES to all the above, then congratulations you have a real chance of a positive breakthrough. The next step is to get in touch.

Let us help you become one of the few who’s painful feelings no longer cause a major problem for them each and every day because they are consciously awake to prevent it.  

Contact Irwin Edgehill training by calling 07842 435921 or email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk and let us help you begin your journey of authentic emotional, mental and psychological salvation.

Where there is NO WILL, there will be NO WIN!

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Fed up in your job and looking to do something different?  Got that big business idea which you want to turn into reality? Have you already  started out on your own but it’s not quite working out? Do you have the WILL to WIN?

WILL you do the things today that WILL get your career or your business where you want to be tomorrow, next month, next year and the years’ after that? Have you got the right help in place to ensure you get there?  Unfortunately, if you haven’t got the WILL you will never WIN. You will never achieve the things you want to achieve. 

Sadly, many people use WILL the wrong way which is the main reason they don’t and won’t WIN any of the above.  This makes them feel depressed, stressed, anxious and lacking in confidence. I say ‘sadly’ because in my own experience of working on myself and in turn helping others to do the same, it doesn’t have to be this way.  If you use WILL in the way it is intended, you WILL positively win.

If you are currently saying to yourself any of the following, then STOP!

  • I WILL never get that dream job
  • I WILL never get that promotion
  • I WILL never launch my business
  • I WILL never get any clients
  • I WILL never make my business a success

So, all you need is WILL!  The question is how can you get it?  Who can you call on to get the help and support you need? Well look no further than Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you WILL yourself to success.  Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921 to begin the journey.

There really is a cure for your workplace stress

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How are you feeling? How is your morale? Is it low and impacting on your productivity and creativity? Then it’s quite likely that you are suffering from the impact of work place stress.

Having worked with a wide range of individuals at many levels of organisations who have dealt with the negative effects of workplace stress, it’s a fact that those who recognise and address this increasingly common affliction get the most out of their working lives.

In a recent labour force survey it was stated that:
• Staff take an average of 12 sick days a year, also 60- to 80% of primary care doctor visits are related to stress, yet only 3% of patients receive stress management help (JAMA Intern Med. 2013; 173(1): 76-77).
• The American Psychological report stated that 42 % of Americans report lying awake at night due to stress.

So where do you begin?

• Firstly and most importantly recognise that your emotional wellbeing is key to increasing productivity and creativity.
• Acknowledge that wellbeing doesn’t mean treating yourself to a cake or chocolates every now and again or coming to work on a Friday dressed casually. Even taking a holiday doesn’t really work as unless you deal with your workplace stress before you go, you only end up taking it with you.
• Consider how you really feel about the working environment, the way you are being managed or your current workload.
• Ensure that your organisation understands and recognises staff wellbeing and stress in the workplace. The days of ‘just get on with it and pull yourself together’ just don’t work in today’s always on, increasingly demanding working environment.
• Realise the value and benefit of investing time and money in your emotional wellbeing. See it as an investment in the business as you would a new piece of machinery or marketing campaign.
• Put in place a commitment and structure that recognises the value and benefit from regular life coaching sessions that cover stress management, assertiveness, mindfulness and self-esteem.

Recognise the situation? Want to begin to introduce the cure?

Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer to begin to address work place stress. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Do you treat your car better than you treat yourself?

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As I’m about to take my car for its annual MOT and service, it occurred to me that it’s around this time of year when we all get bombarded with adverts on TV, radio and billboards as well as those overhead signs on motorways.  All of them reminding us to check our cars to ensure they are road worthy for the winter months. Insisting we make sure our batteries and tyres are in good order and the anti-freeze is topped up, so we don’t get caught out and stranded in bad weather.  

It then made me wonder how many adverts advise people to get a regular emotional intelligence check-up, focusing on such areas as stress, anxiety, resilience, confidence, and assertiveness. Reminding us of the importance of emotional intelligence in helping us to not mentally breakdown, particularly important around this time of year when many will struggle.  

So now as I write this blog the questions that keep coming back to me are:  

  • How many people in the Bournemouth area take better care of their car than themselves? 
  • Do they regularly think and say to themselves: I am sick and tired of feeling stressed out, depressed and anxious? I’m fed up of having low self-esteem and lacking in resilience.
  • Do they know how and where to get an emotional intelligence check-up so they can be ready for whatever life challenges they may face? 
  • Do they take action and as a result find themselves happily living on easy street?

So how about you, do you treat your car better than you treat yourself? If you do then now is the time to put yourself first by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for our emotional intelligence check-up. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

10 Top Tips on how to stay emotionally intelligent over the Christmas period

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  1. Do not try to be happy! This false state of being will just make you feel worse rather than better. Instead try sitting with how you are feeling, don’t do anything to suppress it and you will find the feeling won’t last for long.
  2. Have the courage to say no to those invites where you usually say yes, but make you feel and wish that you hadn’t. By adopting this positively empowering approach you will be in control and feel infinitely better.
  3. See this time of year for the authentic reason it was intended: To reflect on a  year that is coming to an end and to use this period to see the positive things you have achieved.
  4. Stay awake. We firmly believe the reason most people suffer throughout the year and more so over the Christmas period is their inability to be aware of their thoughts and feelings in any given moment. As a result they are at the mercy of all manner of thoughts, the majority of these being negative, which then produce negative actions and results. To prevent this from happening be in control of yourself by being consciously aware of how you are feeling. This will prevent you from over indulging with food, drink or even shopping and experiencing the related negative feelings and emotions. 
  5. Get some fresh air and exercise even if this just means a brisk walk around the block or park.  Cold short days and long dark nights makes us all just want to hide away indoors.  However being outdoors will work wonders for you both emotionally and physically.
  6. If Christmas isn’t a particularly good time of the year for one reason or another then reach out to friends or family. Failing that send Irwin Edgehill Training an email or text and we will gladly lend an ear.  Email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or text 07842 435921.
  7. Use this time of the year to have a clear-out of all the unwanted stuff that you’ve had for months if not years. By doing so you are creating a space for all the good things you want to come into your life. 
  8. Be mindful of the fact that at this time of the year we spend more time with friends and family than we usually do and in a lot of cases the unresolved issues that are normally suppressed can start to seep out. Be mindful of this and you’ll be able to keep control of your thoughts and yourself.
  9. Use the Christmas holiday period to relax, unwind and recharge.
  10. Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean we stop working on ourselves. I remember watching an interview with the decathlon gold medallist Daley Thompson in which he explained that even on Christmas day he was working on himself as he knew his counterparts were most probably having a day off. So if you want to be ahead of the game in 2020 don’t let Christmas get in the way.   

On behalf of us at Irwin Edgehill Training we wish you a happy Christmas and a prosperous 2020.  Why not read some more of our blogs at https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Why not create a space for the good that you desire?

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Have you ever wondered why the things you really want from life are so elusive? Have you tried different tools and techniques in order to get the things you want but are still no further forward?  Have you tried nothing at all, thinking that what you have now is all you are going to get? 

If you have said YES to any of the above then now is the time for you to start creating a space for the ‘good that you desire’. 

I used this simple but extremely powerful concept with a couple that I was recently life coaching. One of their biggest challenges was that their lives were crammed with negative emotions left over  from past experiences and memories that they hadn’t worked through as individuals before they got together. These emotions were now having a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. They were also placing a huge strain on their marriage, relationships with the children and their positions at work.

So the first question I asked of them was: ‘What are you both willing to sacrifice in order to live the life you have imagined?’ The reality being that you can’t get the things you desire without discarding an equivalent amount of negative emotions.

Fortunately for them they were both willing to commit to stop visiting ‘the scrap yards’ of their previous lives.  By doing so they created the space for us at Irwin Edgehill Training to provide them with the right support and guidance they needed to begin to focus on their future.

Working on their emotions harder than they worked on anything else gave them the opportunity to begin to live their relationship to its fullest brightest self. All because they were willing to create a space for the good that they desired.

How about you? Are you willing to create a space for the good that you desire in your business, platonic or romantic relations? 

If you are then make your desire a reality by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for the right help and guidance. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Always dare to do the right thing regardless of the consequences

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Have you ever avoided making a decision, failed to attend an important meeting or not completed an activity because of the possible consequences? Have you ever reflected on your decision and in hindsight regretted it? I’m guessing the answer is probably ‘YES’.

During a recent workshop I was running on Emotional Intelligence someone asked Tony, a successful businessman: “With your busy schedule how come you are here today?” He gestured and replied: “I can’t afford to miss a session like this one. Even if it means I might lose out on a sale or have a backlog of emails to answer and calls to make when I get back to the office.”

It then occurred to me that Tony was ‘daring to do the right thing’ regardless of the consequences. Which made me wonder how many other people ‘dare to do the right thing’ regardless of the consequences. For example do people dare do the right thing in their relationships whether they be business, platonic or romantic? Do people dare do the right thing with their health and the health of their loved ones?

This topic resonated with everyone in the workshop so much that we used the rest of the session to stay with it. We all identified and reflected on some of our own life choices and decisions. We challenged ourselves to consider whether we would make the same decisions again if we were daring to do the right thing. You can probably guess that many participants felt they would have acted differently.

What areas of your life are you NOT daring to do the right thing?

What decisions have you made that in hindsight you would change? Do you have the confidence to dare to do the right thing even if there are consequences? Have you sought help in order to gain the courage to start to do the right thing? At Irwin Edgehill Training we believe that if you do look for the right support and guidance it will undoubtedly transform your life and the lives of those around you for the better.

Need some help to get started and dare to do the right thing?

Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training to see how we can help you build the confidence and assertiveness needed to enable you to always dare to do the right thing regardless of the consequences. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Transforming our educational system

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Now is the time to add a new lesson to a pupil’s time table. Whether at school, college or university classes on ‘Emotional Intelligence’ that focus on self-awareness, emotional control, self-motivation, empathy and relationship skills can only produce positive outcomes. What better way to transform our educational system and offer students ways to boost their learning, friendships, academic success and employment.

These lessons without doubt would help solve so may challenges facing our children, society and the education system as a whole. It will be like laying a foundation to build a house. If the foundation of a house is built on rock it can more or less withstand most storms that come its way. For our children these storms include those faced in a turbulent home, through difficult relationships with friends or family as well as struggles at school.

The foundations of Emotional Intelligence acts on the same principle. Let’s teach pupils how to:

• Manage their stress and anger
• Be more assertive in the right way
• Call on resilience when needed
• Gain confidence

By doing so pupils will find it infinitely easier to perform well in class, get good grades, build stronger and healthier relationships with their peers as well as have more respect for the teachers. Thus everyone wins. The pupil, the school, the teachers, and society as a whole.

Interested? Want to find out more?
Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer that focus on enhancing individuals Emotional Intelligence . Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.