Let me pile all my issues on you and let’s call it love.

This title was taken from a relationship coaching session that I provided recently to a local couple.

One of the main issues they were facing was that one of them thought that now they were together it gave them carte blanche to pile all their issues on to the other person and call it love. Seriously damaging their chances of having an authentic, un-conditional loving relationship. 

This made me think and reflect on my past relationships, with the shocking realisation that I too had experienced the same thing. But it did enable me to offer an authentic real-life solution to their miserable situation.

The fundamental reason why, in my opinion, so many couples experience similar painful and unnecessary problems is because they do not work on their issues, just as I never used to do. As a result, they go into a relationship wearing a false mask of sanity and emotional control, when in reality they are anything but. 

The reason I used to wear my false mask was because I thought the other person wouldn’t like me if I told them my truth. Not realising starting a relationship with a lie will always end badly because a relationship founded on any negativity will never be able to withstand life’s natural storms.  

My solution to them which I am now offering to you:

Don’t be accepting of this type of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship like this, it exists because firstly and fore-mostly you are accepting of it. If you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t be involved in it. You would recognise that it will only get worse and in turn will make you feel depressed and resentful. 

Work on yourself harder than anything else. Not adhering to one of the golden rules as previously posted about is a huge mistake.  Whatever emotional or mental issues you may have, it’s wise to get some help and guidance to work on them before you enter into another relationship. Or if you find yourself going into a relationship whilst you are working on your issues. Have the courage to let the other person know you are as this will save a lot of resentment and mistrust going forward. 

This may all sound like basic advice but alas it’s this type of advice that many people are not aware of, or they never act upon it.

Get in touch

If you are currently in a relationship where the other person is piling all their issues on to you and calling it love, give Irwin Edgehill Training a call on 07842 435291 or send us a message to info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk Let us help you make this a thing of the past.

Have you got what it takes to live on easy street?

Have you got what it takes to live on easy street?

As an ice breaker in a recent workshop I ran on ‘Relationships’ I asked the participants: “What do you want from life?” Their responses included:

  • I want to be happy
  • I want good mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health
  • I want to be financially independent
  • I want peace of mind
  • I want healthy relationships with my wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend and friends
  • I want a good job
  • I want a nice house with a garden
  • I want to go on nice holidays regularly
  • I want to be free of street drugs and alcohol
  • I want to be able to go 24 hours without worrying about something

I continued: “How many of you have got the burning desire, a plan and the right help to achieve these things?” Unsurprisingly, NO hands went up.  

This was not a surprise to me.  Most people want to ‘live on easy street’; having health, wealth, peace, happiness and good relationships.  Unfortunately, in so many cases they will never get there. Not because they can’t, but crucially they haven’t got the deep burning desire needed to start, aided by the right help and plan. 

How about you? Have you got what is needed to live on easy street? 

Do you  have a burning desire to achieve the changes necessary to live on easy street?  Do you have conviction in your ideas as well as the confidence and assertiveness needed to bring them to fruition? Are you seeking the right help to support you in achieving the life you desire?

If the answer is NO then contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and let us help you make that desire a reality. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Transforming our educational system

Now is the time to add a new lesson to a pupil’s time table. Whether at school, college or university classes on ‘Emotional Intelligence’ that focus on self-awareness, emotional control, self-motivation, empathy and relationship skills can only produce positive outcomes. What better way to transform our educational system and offer students ways to boost their learning, friendships, academic success and employment.

These lessons without doubt would help solve so may challenges facing our children, society and the education system as a whole. It will be like laying a foundation to build a house. If the foundation of a house is built on rock it can more or less withstand most storms that come its way. For our children these storms include those faced in a turbulent home, through difficult relationships with friends or family as well as struggles at school.

The foundations of Emotional Intelligence acts on the same principle. Let’s teach pupils how to:

• Manage their stress and anger
• Be more assertive in the right way
• Call on resilience when needed
• Gain confidence

By doing so pupils will find it infinitely easier to perform well in class, get good grades, build stronger and healthier relationships with their peers as well as have more respect for the teachers. Thus everyone wins. The pupil, the school, the teachers, and society as a whole.

Interested? Want to find out more?
Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer that focus on enhancing individuals Emotional Intelligence . Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.