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Irwin Edgehill Training

Supporting individuals and teams to build their confidence and resilience empowering them to transform their personal & professional lives.

Category: Emotional Wellbeing

If you don’t stand for something you are going to fall for anything

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This concept is taken from a workshop I recently delivered that focused on boundaries.  One of the attendee’s asked: “Irwin, I am sick and tired of the men I seem to attract in my life and of the subsequent tempestuous relationships that follow.  Why does this keep on happening?” 

My response was: “Do you have a stand, what do you stand for?” Her reaction was as if I’d just spoken in a foreign language, which  unfortunately wasn’t a surprise as this is a response I get from most people. I say unfortunately because of the fact that if more people stood for something in any or all of their relationships be they business, platonic or romantic they would not have to suffer emotionally, mentally and physically as many do. 

The help and advice I gave to the attendee and the rest of the group was that before you embark on another relationship first ask yourself these simple questions: 

  • What am I no longer prepared to put up with in a new relationship? 
  • What type of person do I want to meet and what positive characteristics do I want them to have?  
  • If I am expecting them to be of a certain positive character then am I that  person myself?  
  • Do I need to  work on myself with the right support and knowledge to become the person I want to meet? The reality being that we  assemble with those with whom we resemble? 

The attendee at first had a hard time in believing that she in some way resembled the negative men she attracted. However once we dug deeper she did recognise traits in herself that mirrored the men she met, such as having no boundaries. By focusing on these simple questions and sticking to them no matter what, will save her a huge amount of emotional grief and trauma in her life as well as making her feel positively empowered.    

If you are finding that you are falling for anything because you don’t stand for something then seek some advice and guidance by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921. 

Do you treat your car better than you treat yourself?

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As I’m about to take my car for its annual MOT and service, it occurred to me that it’s around this time of year when we all get bombarded with adverts on TV, radio and billboards as well as those overhead signs on motorways.  All of them reminding us to check our cars to ensure they are road worthy for the winter months. Insisting we make sure our batteries and tyres are in good order and the anti-freeze is topped up, so we don’t get caught out and stranded in bad weather.  

It then made me wonder how many adverts advise people to get a regular emotional intelligence check-up, focusing on such areas as stress, anxiety, resilience, confidence, and assertiveness. Reminding us of the importance of emotional intelligence in helping us to not mentally breakdown, particularly important around this time of year when many will struggle.  

So now as I write this blog the questions that keep coming back to me are:  

  • How many people in the Bournemouth area take better care of their car than themselves? 
  • Do they regularly think and say to themselves: I am sick and tired of feeling stressed out, depressed and anxious? I’m fed up of having low self-esteem and lacking in resilience.
  • Do they know how and where to get an emotional intelligence check-up so they can be ready for whatever life challenges they may face? 
  • Do they take action and as a result find themselves happily living on easy street?

So how about you, do you treat your car better than you treat yourself? If you do then now is the time to put yourself first by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for our emotional intelligence check-up. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

10 Top Tips on how to stay emotionally intelligent over the Christmas period

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  1. Do not try to be happy! This false state of being will just make you feel worse rather than better. Instead try sitting with how you are feeling, don’t do anything to suppress it and you will find the feeling won’t last for long.
  2. Have the courage to say no to those invites where you usually say yes, but make you feel and wish that you hadn’t. By adopting this positively empowering approach you will be in control and feel infinitely better.
  3. See this time of year for the authentic reason it was intended: To reflect on a  year that is coming to an end and to use this period to see the positive things you have achieved.
  4. Stay awake. We firmly believe the reason most people suffer throughout the year and more so over the Christmas period is their inability to be aware of their thoughts and feelings in any given moment. As a result they are at the mercy of all manner of thoughts, the majority of these being negative, which then produce negative actions and results. To prevent this from happening be in control of yourself by being consciously aware of how you are feeling. This will prevent you from over indulging with food, drink or even shopping and experiencing the related negative feelings and emotions. 
  5. Get some fresh air and exercise even if this just means a brisk walk around the block or park.  Cold short days and long dark nights makes us all just want to hide away indoors.  However being outdoors will work wonders for you both emotionally and physically.
  6. If Christmas isn’t a particularly good time of the year for one reason or another then reach out to friends or family. Failing that send Irwin Edgehill Training an email or text and we will gladly lend an ear.  Email info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or text 07842 435921.
  7. Use this time of the year to have a clear-out of all the unwanted stuff that you’ve had for months if not years. By doing so you are creating a space for all the good things you want to come into your life. 
  8. Be mindful of the fact that at this time of the year we spend more time with friends and family than we usually do and in a lot of cases the unresolved issues that are normally suppressed can start to seep out. Be mindful of this and you’ll be able to keep control of your thoughts and yourself.
  9. Use the Christmas holiday period to relax, unwind and recharge.
  10. Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean we stop working on ourselves. I remember watching an interview with the decathlon gold medallist Daley Thompson in which he explained that even on Christmas day he was working on himself as he knew his counterparts were most probably having a day off. So if you want to be ahead of the game in 2020 don’t let Christmas get in the way.   

On behalf of us at Irwin Edgehill Training we wish you a happy Christmas and a prosperous 2020.  Why not read some more of our blogs at https://irwinedgehilltraining.com/blog/

Where there is NO WILL, there will be NO WIN!

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WILL you do the things today that WILL get you where you want to be tomorrow, next month, next year and the years’ after that? Have you got the right help in place to ensure you get there?

Unfortunately, if you haven’t got the WILL you will never WIN. You will never achieve anything of any real value such as good health, peace of mind or strong relationships whether they be business, platonic or romantic.

Sadly, many people use WILL the wrong way which is the main reason they don’t and won’t WIN any of the above. This makes them feel depressed, stressed, anxious and lacking in confidence. I say ‘sadly’ because in my own experience of working on myself and in turn helping others to do the same, it doesn’t have to be this way. If you use WILL in the way it is intended, you WILL positively win.

If you are currently saying to yourself any of the following, then STOP!

  • I WILL never get that job
  • I WILL never get the grades I want
  • I WILL never meet the right person
  • I WILL never be happy
  • I WILL never have peace of mind
  • I WILL never rid myself of my depression, stress, anxiety, lack of assertiveness and confidence
  • I WILL never kick my street drugs or alcohol habit
  • I WILL never be able to say NO when people ask things of me instead of always saying YES which in turn makes me feel bad, sad and angry at myself

So, all you need is WILL! The question is how can you get it? Who can you call on to get the help and support you need at any time day or night?

Well look no further than Irwin Edgehill Training. Let us help you WILL yourself to peace and authentic happiness in all areas of your life. Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk  or call 07842 435921 to begin the journey.

Helping reduce stress in students

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At Irwin Edgehill Training we specialise in helping to reduce ‘unhealthy stress’ in students whether they be at school, college or university.

As part of our series of workshops we work with students to explore what stress really is and how it is caused. We help them appreciate the importance of stress for motivation, but also when feeling stressed can become unhealthy. We look at how stress can affect the body as well as enable them to identify their own personal triggers.

The sessions we have delivered to date has helped many students manage their stress, resulting in them:

  • Eliminating unnecessary energy drain
  • Maintaining stored resiliency
  • Decreasing their impatience, irritability and anger
  • Improving their physical and mental health
  • Improving their memory, focus and other brain functions
  • Having more energy in the daytime and restful sleep at night

Tips and techniques to combat stress

A key part of our workshops is to provide students with useful tips and techniques to help them combat stress. We use the emWave training system that monitors their heart rhythms and displays the physiological level of coherence — an optimal state in which the heart, mind and emotions are operating in sync and in balance, and the immune, hormonal and nervous systems function in a state of harmonious coordination.

Following the emWave session we continue to work with the students to help them realise the value of taking five minute breaks several times a day to follow simple steps adapted from the HeartMath’s Attitude Breathing ® tool, getting them to:

  • Focus on their heart while breathing in
  • Concentrate on a positive feeling or attitude while breathing out
  • Lock in this new feeling and continue to breathe it in and out through their heart area
  • Gradually, as they become adept at this, they can choose new feelings to help them de-stress as needed

Do you think your students could benefit from a better understanding of what stress really is? Interested in exploring how we can help your students. Then contact Irwin Edgehill Training via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk  or call 07842 435921.

Why not create a space for the good that you desire?

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Have you ever wondered why the things you really want from life are so elusive? Have you tried different tools and techniques in order to get the things you want but are still no further forward?  Have you tried nothing at all, thinking that what you have now is all you are going to get? 

If you have said YES to any of the above then now is the time for you to start creating a space for the ‘good that you desire’. 

I used this simple but extremely powerful concept with a couple that I was recently life coaching. One of their biggest challenges was that their lives were crammed with negative emotions left over  from past experiences and memories that they hadn’t worked through as individuals before they got together. These emotions were now having a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. They were also placing a huge strain on their marriage, relationships with the children and their positions at work.

So the first question I asked of them was: ‘What are you both willing to sacrifice in order to live the life you have imagined?’ The reality being that you can’t get the things you desire without discarding an equivalent amount of negative emotions.

Fortunately for them they were both willing to commit to stop visiting ‘the scrap yards’ of their previous lives.  By doing so they created the space for us at Irwin Edgehill Training to provide them with the right support and guidance they needed to begin to focus on their future.

Working on their emotions harder than they worked on anything else gave them the opportunity to begin to live their relationship to its fullest brightest self. All because they were willing to create a space for the good that they desired.

How about you? Are you willing to create a space for the good that you desire in your business, platonic or romantic relations? 

If you are then make your desire a reality by contacting us at Irwin Edgehill Training for the right help and guidance. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Why you should work on yourself harder than you work on anything else!

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When I first began my journey of personal development one of the prompts that my mentor kept on repeating to me was: ‘If you work on yourself harder than you work on anything else, everything else will take care of itself.’

When I started my journey all I wanted was the right knowledge, tools and techniques to enable me to help myself to help others transform their lives for the better. To hear that prompt all the time confused me as I thought how is me working on me going to get me what I want? 

My mentor continued with a series of questions including:

  • Do you want a brighter tomorrow?
  • Do you want control of your own life?
  • Do you want to avoid mistakes?
  • Do you want to live simplistically?
  • Do you want to be youthful?
  • Do you want to be free of pressure?
  • Do you want to know who you are?
  • Do you want to be unafraid?

I answered those questions with a resounding ‘Yes’ and it was at that point my mentor said your chances of life success have now quadrupled. But how? The reply: ‘Because before we can become any good at anything, anything of real value; to be able to do it with an honesty of purpose then we have to work on ourselves harder than we work on anything else.’

Unfortunately, in my opinion society has wrongly told us that all we need to do in life is get a nice spouse, house, a good education, pension and go on holiday a few times a year and we’ve ‘made it. Yet I’ve met and helped so many people with these so called worthy things but they are still either depressed, stressed, anxious or lacking in confidence, assertiveness and resilience.

So, here are my questions to you:

  • Are you in control of your moods or are your moods in control of you?
  • Are you in control of your stress or is your stress in control of you?
  • Are you in control of your anxieties or are your anxieties in control of you?
  • Are you in control of your thoughts or are your thoughts in control of you?
  • Are you in control of your depression or is your depression in control of you?
  • Are you in control of your relationships or are your relationships in control of you?

If you are not in control of your emotions it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be in control of anything of real value and importance, such as your emotional wellbeing.  Why not start to work on yourself harder than you work on anything else?

With the help of Irwin Edgehill Training, let us help you quadruple your chances of real-life success.   

Contact us via Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

Stay away from the scrap yard

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Take a moment to think of your car or if you like the car you’ve always wanted to own. Remember all the places you have travelled or visualise the trips you would like to make. Think about the fun it has provided and the fond memories created. Brings a smile to the face doesn’t it.

Imagine you are out for a leisurely drive. Feels great but then disaster, someone crashes into you and your car is written off. How would you feel? Gutted I bet.

So how would you respond? Would you get out of bed at 3 in the morning and walk, now you haven’t got a car or get a taxi all the way to the scrap yard where your crumpled car is laying in a heap? Would you peer over the fence just to have a look and either get angry at the thought of what happened to it, or sad and depressed because it’s no longer in your life?

Would you do this over and over again for year after year? I’m pretty confident that the answer would be ‘NO’.

So why do the equivalent when there is a break up in a relationship?

Well that’s what the majority of people do whenever there’s a break up of some sort in their relationships be it business, platonic or romantic. My question to a group of men and women that I passed on this concept to whilst delivering a workshop on ‘Comfort zones and the benefits of stretching out of it’ was: How many of you are still haunted by experiences and memories from the past because you continually visit the ‘Scrap yard’? No surprise every hand in the room went up in agreement.

If you are finding it difficult to overcome a crash from a past relationship of any kind, then remember that unless it’s dealt with in the right way you’ll continue to suffer from it not only mentally and emotionally but physically too. You have to learn that there is absolutely no value in letting this situation continue as well as understand the tactics and strategies that can be put in place to help you overcome this personal challenge.

Interested? Want to find out more about the Scrap yard concept and how to deal with it?

Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer that focus on enabling individuals deal with and move on from relationships that have broken down . Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

What makes a good Life Coach?

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On a day-to-day basis, coaches face many challenges. Life Coaching is an ongoing process, a method of continuous development and a significant learning experience for both coaches and clients. As a process it’s important to not be afraid of taking a wrong turn but then learn from ‘mistakes’.

The key to this is realising that these aren’t ‘mistakes’ or failings in the first place. What many people regard as mistakes are in fact lessons, experiences and opportunities to learn and develop, but because the majority aren’t aware of this they trudge through life depressed, anxious, stressed, resentful and angry.

Florence Scovel Shinn in her book ‘The Game of Life and How to Play It’ has some helpful tips to say about mistakes and learning. So does Napoleon Hill in his phenomenal book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘.

A good Life Coach must demonstrate resourcefulness and help people to see that if they think they have failed in the past, this does not need to resemble or have any bearing on their future as long as they use the learning experience in the right way.

Listening skills, holding the client accountable for any goals set and giving as much advice, knowledge and guidance to the client is a vital role of the Life Coach. To do this the Life Coach must ensure that he or she is studying the right information themselves in order to give out the right information.

There are many ways to train to be a life coach both in person and on-line. One such on-line example is iNLP Center.

In my experience as a coach I believe the biggest challenges that Life Coaches face boils down to how authentic and sincere they are, in other words is it a vocation or just a job? If it’s a vocation then great both coach and client have a real chance of success, because if a Life Coach is constantly working on themselves with the right knowledge it goes without saying that he or she will be a top of the range coach, who in turn will produce top of the range results for their clients.

If it’s just a job and the so called coach doesn’t believe in what they are doing, or just doing it for the money they won’t last very long. And that is the problem here. A lot of people think Life Coaching is an easy way to make a living and feel good about themselves. All you need to do is sit and listen to a person’s woes, offer some fluffy advice and job done.

If you have this type of attitude about Life Coaching my advice would be don’t do it!

Interested in Life Coaching ? Want to find out more?
Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our Life Coaching services . Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.

There really is a cure for workplace stress

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Confident that you are getting the most from your employees?

Has staff turnover or absenteeism increased? Is staff morale low and with it productivity and creativity? Then it’s quite likely that your business is suffering from the impact of work place stress.

Having worked with a wide range of organisations for many years who have dealt with the negative effects of workplace stress, it’s a fact that those who recognise and address this increasingly common affliction get the most out of their staff.

In a recent labour force survey it was stated that:
• Staff take an average of 12 sick days a year, also 60- to 80% of primary care doctor visits are related to stress, yet only 3% of patients receive stress management help (JAMA Intern Med. 2013; 173(1): 76-77).
• The American Psychological report stated that 42 % of Americans report lying awake at night due to stress.

So where do you begin?

• Firstly and most importantly recognise that emotional wellbeing of your staff is key to increasing productivity, creativity, staff retention as well as reducing absenteeism.
• Acknowledge that staff wellbeing doesn’t mean treating staff to a cake or box of chocolates every now and again or letting them come to work on a Friday dressed casually.
• Empower your staff to tell you how they really feel about the working environment, the way they are being managed or their current workload.
• Ensure that your managers are trained to understand and recognise staff wellbeing and stress in the workplace. The days of ‘just get on with it and pull yourself together’ just don’t work in today’s always on, increasingly demanding working environment.
• Realise the value and benefit of investing time and money in your employees emotional wellbeing. See it as an investment in the business as you would a new piece of machinery or marketing campaign.
• Put in place a commitment and structure were all your employees recognise the value and benefit from regular life coaching sessions that cover stress management, assertiveness, mindfulness and self-esteem.

Recognise the situation? Want to begin to introduce the cure?

Contact us at Irwin Edgehill Training and discuss our range of services and solutions we offer to organisation like yours to begin to address work place stress. Email: info@irwinedgehilltraining.co.uk or call 07842 435921.